The Interview Process

QUESTION

So you’re desperate to hire for a dead-end job and you’re one of the most dishonorable, sordid, and unsavory organizations that’s ever slithered across the face of the earth.  What would you do in order to recruit for this most unpleasant and low-paying of occupations?

ANSWER

If you’re the fine folks at Devilcorp, you’ll devise a distorted system allowing you to funnel unwitting interviewees towards your unholy scam.  Their job can be likened to a flea-ridden pig taken from the most unsanitary farm and it’s best to put as much lipstick on said pig as humanly possible.

piggy

Devilcorp is well aware of its unappealing vacancy and knows that being truthful with prospective employees is simply not an option.  If you read the main articles and explore the links, you’ll find they post false and misleading advertisements to attract new blood.  Unfortunately, their inaccurate ads only serve as a hook to pull people in the door before they’re buried in an avalanche of bewildering mumbo jumbo designed to entrap them in this stale and sour profession.

Owners put on a show attempting to convince job hunters that the position is a genuine opportunity.  They’ll point to themselves as living, breathing, examples of success even though most owners are struggling financially.  In this business, image is everything which is why they’re required to “promote the dream” by wearing suits and flaunting watches etc., all to make reps believe there’s light at the end of the tunnel.  Nothing can be further from the truth.

The company wants you to think their job is something special which is why applicants are told that many are vying for the same position.  It’s all just sleight of hand because almost everyone will be hired.  These deceivers created a three stage interview process in order to give their disreputable venture the appearance of legitimacy while allowing an owner as much time as possible to convince potential recruits that they can succeed by following their profane business model.

ROUND ONE

The first interview with Devilcorp will be very short usually lasting no more than fifteen minutes.  Prospective personnel won’t be asked many questions about themselves (if any) and will be assaulted with lies about how much money can be made with the company.  They most likely won’t be told it’s a direct sales job because they probably answered an ad for a management or customer service position.

It’s company policy for owners to speak very quickly during the first interview and this is meant to confuse the new recruit and keep their minds off asking important questions.  Their aim is to convince the candidate to attend the second round without actually knowing what the job is about.

In door knocking and street hustling divisions, job seekers will be asked to wear comfortable shoes for round two.

Just about everyone makes it to the second round.

ROUND TWO

Depending on the branch and program of this direct sales cult, the second interview will consist of shadowing a leader anywhere from twenty minutes up to an entire day.  This is known as an observation day or “day of O”.  Subjects won’t be paid for this day and that’s perfect because it’ll prepare them for the many unpaid days they’ll experience as a Devilcorp sales rep.

Although they’ll realize this is no management position, they’ll be with a cult member for most of the day and it’s hoped this cult member will sell them on the “opportunity”.  The leader will spend most of his free time preaching the Devilcorp gospel and filling their heads with lies about success in the business.  He’ll explain the management training program and assure them that if they get through the initial months, they’ll be on the path to riches.

Leaders will most likely buy lunch at an establishment like McDonald’s because they probably can’t afford anything else. If you’re ever on a second round interview with Devilcorp, be sure to thank your leader profusely.  Considering the poverty-stricken lifestyles of some, a Big Mac is a delicacy enjoyed only on special occasions and used during observation days in order to entice and capture an unsuspecting stooge.

big mac

Just about everyone makes it to the third round.

ROUND THREE

The third interview is conducted in the office and it’s usually a rehash of what’s already been said.  Owners claim you can expect to be a manager within six to eighteen months and earn a minimum of $100k per year  (most owners make nowhere near that amount).  They’ll try to convince you that the field is a stepping stone in order to learn the business from the ground up (statistically speaking, selling in the field is all you’ll ever do for this company).  You’ll then be asked to start immediately.

Just about everyone is offered a position.

IT’S ALL ONE BIG LIE

Like all things Devilcorp, the interview swindle is an illusion designed to bind you to their repulsive job.  They believe a three stage process will somehow convince you the position is better than it actually is (a cold calling sales gig).  They have over thirty years of experience in cajoling and beguiling interviewees and know exactly what lies to tell and when to tell them.

Their biggest and best lie however, is the promise of financial freedom.  This one lie has enabled them to recruit millions and destroy countless innocents who were just trying to better their lives along with the lives of their families.  Without this lie, the number of new reps would dwindle because nobody wants to sell for Devilcorp.

All employees sign on to become managers but 99% of reps never make it to ownership.  For those unlucky enough to be promoted, they quickly find out that management is not what was promised and that’s another reason  why most new owners fail in the first year.

The turnover rate is staggering and to call this business a revolving door would be an understatement.  Of the millions who’ve attempted to find success with these people, not many have achieved financial independence besides the ones sitting at the top of the pyramid.

devil4

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